How to get them to look at your resume. Would you let me write "your" cover letter? ;6)

GOOD MORNING HIRING MGR :6)

ENGLISH WOMAN LOOKING FOR WORK
(See picture of silly cow on left)

SKILLS ARE AS FOLLOWS

PRIMA DONNA BALLERINA WANNABE
TERRIBLE TRAPEZE ARTIST
GYMNAST "NOT"
BUNGEE JUMPER "NEVER"
AWARD WINNING GROCERY CART RACER
EXPERT CAR CRASHER
BON-BON EATER
WINE TASTER

For THE REAL information please see my attached Resume..:6)